At the Break of Dawn
by EchizenRyomaLover
Summary: At the break of dawn, when night meets day, when light meets darkness, where does Ciel’s heart truly lie?
1. The Moon You are

**Story Title: At the Break of Dawn**

**Chapter Title: The Moon You are**

**Summary: At the break of dawn, when night meets day, when light meets darkness, where does Ciel's heart truly lie?**

**Estimated Length: around 3 chapters**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji. It belong to the fabulous Yana Toboso ^^

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**Ciel's POV:**

What I had before will never return, yet I don't feel sad. There is emptiness, yet as I stare into the bright moon, a different feeling overcomes me. I see a vow, one that you made to me, one that will not fade. Not even till death.

The moon...they say that a vow made under the moon waxes and wanes, but how come yours feels different? No, that is not what the moon means for us. The moon is always there, even when I can't see it, and when I do see it, you unveil my agony, which I've kept hidden all these years. Nothing seems to get past you, you notice every move I make, even up to the unshed tears that I hide. Why is it I feel so vulnerable around you? Like the moon high in the sky, you look down on me and make me feel so small, yet you make me feel safe, that someone's watching over me, and I am not alone.

Mysterious, beautiful, with a haunting holiness (how ironic, considering your true nature) that words fail to describe. I feel peaceful around you, despite the knowledge that someday, on a quiet night like this, you will take my life. Then again, my life faded away years ago, just like my house that was burned, like my parents who were killed, and my happiness destroyed.

Wait, aren't you the same person who gave me life? When I called for help, no one answered, not heaven, not another person, but you. I know it was only because you wanted my soul, my despair, my hatred, and my unsatisfied desire for vengeance, all for a meal that you'd be satisfied with. Still, I am grateful. I am alive, and I will fight until the end of my days. The moon shines upon my tiny figure, lulling me to sleep. It's too bad that I can't stay up all night like you, the moon, or is it Sebastian? You always feel so close to me, but I know you and I are different. I walk on this ground with my small feet, while you simply fly around taunting me. You are cold, but warm at the same time. I know I shouldn't feel special that you're with me. You're simply following your principles, living as you should, like the moon that illuminates the darkness of the night sky, as it was created to do so.

Darkness...I am not afraid of it. Unlike the moon, you are not the light in my darkness, but the one who guides me through it, to help me use the darkness as a weapon.

Wherever I go, I cannot escape from you. Even if I go to the other side of the globe, the moon will shine down on me, unveiling that wretched agony.

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Author's note: My first Kuroshitsuji fic (seriously written), inspired by the songs Lacrimosa & Gloria by Kalafina. If I ever decide to add to this, I will, it's a spur of the moment kinda thing so sorry for any errors! Please do point them out. ^^

Author's note 2: In your reviews, let's try the Pocky system (I'm a Pocky lover people XD). For each chapter you review, you get to give any character in the chap a box of Pocky (any flavor, even if you just made it up) and state your reason for choosing that flavor. For example:

"A box of chocolate Pocky for Ciel for being so childish!"

PLEASE REVIEW! AND DON'T FORGET THE POCKY!


	2. The Eclipsed Sun

**Chapter Title: The Eclipsed Sun**

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**SEBASTIAN'S POV:**

Bocchan…as I watch your sleeping figure, I wonder, what goes on in your dreams? Do you still have nightmares? Or is reality a nightmare in and of itself? Do you wish for the light that will never shine upon you again?

The sun, a beauty that I can perhaps compare to you. Ironic, isn't it? The "you" who continues to run in the darkness, the "you" who is trapped in despair, and the "you" who has lost all hope, has retained a childlike innocence that even a demon like me can't comprehend.

Before that month, you were just like any other child, innocent, kind, and hopeful for a bright future. A sun that was full of warmth, shedding its light to all.

Now, the sun has been covered by an eclipse, one that will remain until the sun dies out. Darkness has prevailed over the sun's ethereal light. People still hope that someday, the eclipse will be lifted, and the sun will smile upon them again.

How foolish, no wonder these humans are pathetic. "Something once lost, will never return, no matter how hard you struggle," isn't that what you always say Bocchan?

That is why I chose you, you embraced the darkness, knowing that it was the truth, and not running away from it. The darkness is the strength that drives you forward, with me by your side, always, till death.

I am the force that retains your darkness, that keeps the eclipse within your heart in place.

You know that this was preordained by fate, for you to live a life that will eventually end in misery. The heavens are probably enjoying your slow demise, as you collect the filth that the world has thrown on you. Yet you endure it all, always running forward, like the sun that must rise again for the next day, despite the darkness it still carries. You hold out, just a little longer, until your desire has been satiated.

A star you are whose life will someday end, whose breath will someday blow for the last time. I, as the darkness, will suck you in to the deepest depths of hell.

My Bocchan…

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**Author's note: Once again, inspired by the song "Gloria" by Kalafina (and now, Aria too). Anyway, it took a while for me to upload this since my Doc Manager was having processing errors. Oh, please point out any errors in the story since I typed this is a hurry. Hoped you enjoyed reading this (though I think the first chap was better ^^) and please be gentle with criticisms, this is my first seriously written fic!**

**Author's note 2: So sorry that it's short! (I can't seem to write long fics) Like I said, if ever I feel like adding anything to any of the chapters, I will.  
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**Lastly, PLEASE REVIEW & DON'T FORGET THE POCKY!**


	3. Burnt Hope

**Chapter Title: Burnt Hope**

Author's note: I have decided to lengthen this fic! (I estimated it to be 3 chapters, but with this chap, it's obviously not done yet ^^) As for the title, it will make more sense in future chapters. Updating schedules are irregular (a.k.a when inspiration strikes)

On with the fic!

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**(1) MERCILESS FLAMES**

_The fire burns wildly in the night_

_All is consumed by crimson light_

_The flames blaze on with frenzied glee_

_The pillars crumble, now no more_

_All that was burned, cannot restore_

_The flames remain, now taunting me_

_I seek escape, yet trip and fall_

_No one is here to heed my call_

_As flames feed on my agony_

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_Another nightmare… _

A nightmare that is haunting not merely because of its content, but more so of the fact that it is real, carved in the very monument of memory. Perhaps the senses contribute in making such experiences so unforgettable. Whatever the reason is, such dreams prove that there really is nothing like experience.

Time has not healed me the least bit, and the scars in my heart will forever remain. They are deep, for the fire of vengeance rages to the very depths of my soul; black gashes, filled with the darkness of my past and my now corrupted soul.

You continue to ignite the fire of my vengeance, keeping it ablaze till my last breath. I die in the flames of despair, you live in the heat of my tragedy, amused at my wrath, reveling in the taste of my unending strife.

I used to cry for help, trying to reach out for anyone to save me, till I realized that no one will come. There is no water that will heal my soul.

All moisture in my life has gone, My soul is nothing but a dry wasteland, collecting the bones of those who dare wrong me.

I can hear the flames crackling (or is it cackling?), awaiting my demise. Perhaps the easy way out is death, but my pride refuses at the last minute, for I will never be satisfied till I drag those who wronged me to the very bottom of the fiery pit they call hell.

_O validus flamma , fio meus vox. Exuro totus qui clausus meus semita (2)_

_Terra of damno , fio unus per meus animus. Meus animus ut has been vexillum ex paradise (3)_

_Relinquo animus , teneo diligo quod gaudium haud magis (4)_

_Permissum ceterus of meus dies exsisto linked ut coniecto (5)_

The burnt stage has been set, let the countdown of vengeance begin…

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**More Author's Notes:**

1. This is yet another one of my poems that I submitted for our school magazine. The poetry type is Nove Otto (from shadowpoetry), and is published under my real name (so if you know me, hush-hush please XD)

2. O mighty flames, become my power. Burn all those who block my path

3. Land of the damned, become one with my soul. My soul that has been banned from paradise

4. Forsaken soul, know love and happiness no more

5. Let the rest of my days be linked to the inferno

*I give credit to most (if not all) of the Black Symphony songs of Within Temptation for my current inspiration!

*I just translated the Latin sentences on the net. Hope it wasn't too tedious to read! XD

*I feel like I'll be updating soon! Thee next chapter is entitled "Eternal Chains"

*If you think my chapters are short, then so do I! (I'm working on it...)


	4. Eternal Chains

A/N: First of all, I'd like to apologize for updating so late! (well, better late than never XD) I didn't expect my "I feel like I'll be updating soon!" line to turn into a total lie Y.Y

So far, this fic will remain as a series of Ciel's thoughts. If you look closely enough, there are very subtle references to certain events in the storyline. Still, they're vague so even someone new to Kuroshitsuji can read this.

On with the fic!

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_Not one hint of hope is left_

_Salvation has fallen prey to theft (1)_

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Life is but a game wherein we are all pawns. It is up to us to overthrow others and gain power in order to become king.

Most people aren't aware of this, and perhaps that is why those who are aware of the bitter truth can easily gain the upper hand.

Easily? Yeah right.

It was easy to see my good memories die in the midst of my burning mansion. It was easy to have been caught by evil bastards who wanted nothing more than to drag my soul to the very bottom of hell. Most of all, it was easy to tell salvation wasn't coming; not after I had screamed and begged for mercy only to be answered by hollow echoes in my cell walls.

The only hard thing to accept is that all this is real.

I squeeze my eyes shut as the burning pain of the cursed mark seizes me. I keep my eyes closed as I try to numb myself of the pain. Memories of my dear past flood me, but I no longer feel their warmth.

I have released myself from the shackles of my transient past. Now I bind myself to a new set of chains.

No hesitations. I live for this, and this alone.

I order you to mark me as strongly as you can. "The closer the mark of the contract is to the eye, the stronger our bond will be," you said.

I return to the ruins I once called home, not as Ciel Phantomhive, a powerless child, but as Earl Ciel Phantomhive, alive and back with a vengeance.

I don't care what I have to do, or who I have to face. I will destroy all who block my path. But I am not naive, at least not anymore. I know that despite my wealth and power, I am still a child that society will look down upon. That is why I have called upon this demon, to become my power; the ultimate black knight to serve me, the secretly vulnerable king.

Of course, I must pay the price, and such power does not come cheap.

I have but one thing to offer to a demon who desires nothing from earthly pleasures, my soul.

Unlike most people, whom I deem to be extremely pathetic and oblivious to the true nature of the world and themselves, I am not afraid to be damned for all eternity. After realizing that faith is nothing but empty promises to unknown deities, I am more than happy to offer my entire being to something that can actually help me attain my goal.

I will wield these dangerous chains till my last breath, before they bind me to the inferno forever.

It is impossible to escape from the demon.

I have chosen this fate, and I am not turning back. I am trapped, as I desired it to be. I immerse myself in the dealings of the English underworld, and prove my loyalty to the Queen. I become a master of lies. It is only to be expected as such, for I am the master of a creature who excels most in deceit.

We dance around each other, with him twisting my orders around until even I cannot argue his point. He follows my commands to the letter, but not always in the spirit that I desire. It irks me at most, but it has taught me one of the most valuable lessons of all: nothing is always as it seems.

Sebastian has sworn never to lie to me, for he will turn all lies into truths.

To this day I wonder what was a lie and what wasn't.

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The forsaken choose not to run

Towards the light, the long lost sun

They know that they will never be

Rejoicing in eternity

For they have been thrown out from the land of heaven

To wander blindly in the dark, the forsaken

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Hope is a lie, that is for sure

From agony, there is no cure

Seeking respite is but a jest

On this foolish, maddening quest

You wish for it all to end, yet you cannot die

The dreams now cease, any hint of hope is a lie (2)

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**Notes:**

1. A couplet by yours truly. It was lying in a notebook somewhere, so I decided to use it.

2. This is another one of my original poems, entitled **"Elegy of the Inferno".** It is a Wrapped Refrain, a poem consisting of 2 or more 6-line stanzas, with the syllable count of 8,8,8,8,12,12 and a rhyme scheme of aabbcc. The first 4 syllables of the first line must be the last 4 syllables of the sixth line; hence the refrain. This was invented by Jan Turner. It is my favorite type of poetry so far.

I have no idea when I'll be updating again, but I will so do my best to get inspired. I'm so sorry if I'm disappointing my readers with the shortness and lateness of my fics. T.T Please bear with me.


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